What do you do when you absolutely don’t want to be somewhere? Are you supposed to run away from what you hate like a coward and the move on from it? Or are you supposed to just deal with it and then be unhappy for the duration of that period?

Yet again, I’m confused…. Supposedly the American dream is to be happy and free. I have discarded my own happiness so many times in the past, to help others, it feels like I don’t matter. So how am I supposed to break a cycle where I feel unappreciated, and taken for granted, bored and hated.

I honestly feel like I don’t want to be here anymore. I honestly don’t want to do any of this anymore.

After all this thinking, I’m afraid… I’m afraid that if I change my lifestyle I will miss out on prime opportunities that I might come across later in life.

So am I supposed to follow the yearnings of my heart and be defined by society and this cycle. I guess I’m afraid of the constant insecurity of the life I will live if I leave.

Though nothing great came from people who didn’t take a risk…